Confessions of a Sinner/Saint

A couple of months ago as the Coronavirus changed the lives of most everyone, I decided that, for the purpose of daily growth, I would read and write each and every day. The reading and studying have had an uptick since then, but I've not taken the time to write like I wanted (other than weekly sermons, Bible studies, etc.).

This blog is an attempt to write daily. These writings will likely dive into a variety of topics of theology and life, maybe even leadership, sports, music, and movies (we'll see). The truth is I'm simply typing now and I have no current direction. For the most part, I think I'll be writing about the things that matter most to me as a husband, father, and sinner saved by the grace of God in Christ Jesus.

Cup of Joe: For most of my life I had heard coffee occasionally referred to as Joe. I never thought much of it. When I thought about some five-minute morning devotions a while back, I thought I would call them "Cup of Joe" as people might listen while they drink their morning cup of coffee. More recently, I learned that the term Cup of Joe stems from the fact that Joe is the common man's name (a connotation I once despised, but now appreciate), and coffee is simply the common man's drink. 

Today, I'm pretty good with being common. Some time back someone sent me a t-shirt that said, "World's Most Okayest Pastor", and that about sums it up. Twenty years ago I was in college and studying for ministry of some kind. I remember talking with a friend and saying, "I want to do something that really matters. I want to do something cutting edge. I don't want to just be a parish pastor. I want to be on the front lines and make a difference."

Well, twenty years of life and ministry teach you a few things. First, I've learned that congregational ministry in a community is the front line. There's a lot to love and a lot to hate, but there is no doubt a spiritual battle that happens all of the time, and even more importantly amazing work of God as He feeds, nourishes, teaches, grows and enlarges His Church by the power of the Holy Spirit through Word and Sacrament. 

I've also learned that there is not much extraordinary about me (it's amazing how the School of Hard Knocks has a way of making you see that). I am a common Joe/average Joe. I'm a struggling sinner that wrestles daily with whether I'm doing enough at home, doing enough at church, failing, or succeeding as a husband, as a father, as a pastor. I'm not wowing crowds, and I'm not on any best-seller list or list of influential pastors under 40 (I don't know if such a list exists, but I couldn't be on it any longer anyway). I'm just a common, ordinary Joe. But here's what I've learned: God can do extraordinary things through ordinary things. This is especially true when we are talking about His Word and the Sacraments, or even His Church in general. It's also true when we talk about vocation. My calling doesn't need to be "cutting edge" (whatever that meant at the time), but God could use me in normal, everyday situations in life (I'll do plenty of talking about vocation and being masks of God in future posts...assuming I somehow commit to writing).

The title says, "Confessions of a Sinner/Saint". Some of you may be familiar with Luther's phrase simul justus et peccator, meaning "simultaneously saint and sinner". And I recall learning that phrase at the age of 20, and shortly after taking a train ride home from Los Angeles to Sacramento, and reading through and marking up St. Paul's letter to the Galatians (fire!). And taking out a composition book and writing those words "Saint and Sinner" on the top, and writing down the following: "If this were dependent on me and how well I am doing in my Christian faith and how well I keep the Law of God, I would have nothing to say except that I am a sinner. I stand condemned. There is no other answer I can have when I examine my life. I'm a sinner that deserves death and hell." And then I wrote, "But if my status is not dependent on me but on what Christ has done for me, I am forgiven. God the Father sees me as having been washed clean, holy in His sight. I am a saint. If it depended on me, that could not be the case. But if it depends on Christ than I'm a baptized child of God, washed white in the blood of the lamb."

On my own, I'm no saint. Just an ordinary Joe, struggling each and every day. But God does extraordinary things with the ordinary. No, I don't mean that I've done extraordinary things, but God has done extraordinary things for me and in me. He has forgiven all of my sins. He has made me His own. He has rescued me from the domain of darkness and transferred me into the kingdom of light. I didn't do any of that. He did. I'm a common man with a common drink watching a holy God do His thing. I'll take it!

(More to come on some topics of faith, family, and friendship...hopefully!)